Looking Ahead

Goodbye 2005. Goodbye bitter moments and bad memories. I have to let you go. I will not dwell on you for long. You cannot destroy me. You are history. You are past. I will take today to look ahead and resolve to live better, stronger, and wiser.

There is nothing I can do to change you, 2005. You are what you are. You will not be the standard by which I live my present. You will not control my future. You are gone. You will not weild the power to hurt me. I choose to let you go.

I will remember family get-togethers, laughter and smiles, eating Sunday meals with my extended family. I will remember my son's T-ball homerun. I will remember family around the fire and children running through my yard that fall. I will remember my son's first day at school and his Character Award. I will remember my nephew saying, "Aunt Cindy" and finally getting some hair. I will smile as I think of visits with my grandparents, the hugs and prayers we said as we parted. I will remember birdwatching at the Audobon museum with my husband and son. I will remember taking him to his first drive-in movie, "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." I will remember Thanksgiving and Christmas with my sisters, candymaking and passing dishes around the table and how much apple salad my Carson Bear put away.

I will remember it as the year I unlocked the box and started sending manuscripts around the world. I will remember it as the year I came out of my shell and started being the me I am--and not the me everyone expects me to be. And finding out that the two are not that different.One is just more afraid of rejection, I suppose. But hey, rejection makes you try harder. Rejection builds character. So, it's ok. It will all be ok. I am who I am.