I didn't make my self-imposed deadline. I anticipate the first draft being completed by Monday at the latest, though. I've already started going back through the first chapters, trying to see if they mesh with my ideas for the ending. The second guessing and doubting have started to seep into my consciousness. Do I have what it takes to pull off a good story? Am I spinning my wheels? And then, that self-important devil on my shoulder says, "How many people do you know that have even attempted a project of that length? You should be so proud of yourself!"
And yes I am, I reply. I am proud of myself for sticking with it, for realizing a dream, one of my own dreams for a change. And then I bring out the whip to flog myself. Who do you think you are? You're just a frumpy old housewife from a little hole in the road. What do you have to say that hasn't been said a thousand times in a thousand ways? Shut up, I argue. You're not going to make me feel bad for doing this. It made me happy. Very happy. I will not apologize for my happiness. I will not apologize for my eccentricities. I will not apologize for gloating. Yes! Yes, I did it...well, you're not finished yet, he says. But I will. I will. It is finished just as sure as I am sitting here. Just you wait and see.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Wrestling with Destiny
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7 comments:
Roll that whip up and stick it in the back of a closet somewhere! You're doing a wonderful thing and you definitely should be proud of yourself!
Gloat, girl! Gloat all you want!
We're all cheering you on here in the BlogWorld!
That's the great thing about self-imposed deadlines......YOU can make an adjustment!
No more self-flogging my dear! Unless you are doing research for the book! I'd say you've accomplished quite alot along the way!
I'm waiting....and I will see!
Diane
oh I ditto delia and praying....
Stop it already! (as i say to my children) And get back to it! The end is near...
birth that baby...birth it!
It sounds like you have every reason to feel proud of what you've accomplished. Keep at it!
I KNOW you can do it. And I believe you have talent. The wonderful thing about the way God created us is that He created us with different personalities, different talents. You may not be able to do what your sisters can do, but you are the ONLY one who can write a book with your personality, your experiences.
A lot of times, when we write, our past colors how we say what we say. And that's exactly how it's supposed to be. Unique.
You finish that book (without clubbing yourself over the head about deadlines) and we'll be waiting to buy it.
You've been tagged over on my blog to do an A-Z, All About Me...thing. :0)
congratulations...and keep at it!
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