Sunday, June 25, 2006

To Be Found Faithful

The novel is cooling off as I tend to life and it's non-fictional harsh realities. As I commented to a blogging friend, it would be easy to go frollicking off into my fictional setting right now. But I'd be willing to bet that my character would come out dark and maudlin, and maybe a little bitter as the character fades into Cindy's own personal traits. Yes, I tend to retreat when I grieve. I admit, I tend to get a bitter edge. In my heart of hearts I know that God is in control. I know that His will is being performed in our lives. I know that my Granny is in the Hands of a competent and loving Father. And yet, I'm still human guys. I still wonder why she has to suffer. I know some of you are probably saying, not another post about dying and Granny. Well, it's what's on my heart. I won't apologize. It's a part of life.

Some day I will share with you all about her life. I may even write a book. She has kept ten year's of journals. This lady has faced trial after trial. She has suffered heartache and the tragic loss of children (plural). She has faced cancer, emphysema, diabetes, and COPD. There is not much in this world that surprises her. When my mom died, she asked my cousin, Tim, "Son, why are you crying? She's with the Lord now." Her life has been the endless mantra, "Not my will, Lord, but Thine."
This little spiritual giant reads the Bible through once or twice each year. We listened to James Earl Jones read 15 chapters of Matthew during my stay Friday night. This little lady with the 8th grade education works the Sunday crossword with ease. I wish I had her vocabulary. This lady has crocheted since January 1, 15 paris of houseshoes for this Christmas. Every year she makes them for the ladies and children, and men if they like. The week before she went into the hospital she was putting up squash. The day she went to the hospital she had cooked salmon and bisuit. Not frozen biscuits, mind you. She has a little stool on rollers that she rolls on around her kitchen. The week before she went to the hospital we had visited her, and we found her down at the lobby working a jigsaw puzzle with her neighbors. She has a scooter that she would drive down to the commons area. The phrase, "Whatsoever your hand findeth to do, do with all your might," comes to mind. There's no telling how many missionaries worldwide are sleeping under a quilt that this lady and her sisters quilted. There's no telling how many people are wearing a garment stitched with her hands. There are no telling how many souls in heaven because of her prayers. No, she never achieved fortune and fame. Ninety-nine percent of the world has never heard of Marie McCoy. But I guarantee you, her name is recorded in heaven. I guarantee you that when you get there, she will be there. If she doesn't make it, none of us will.

When I was a child and things got bad at home, I would go spend the night with my Granny. One time our plumbing was out, and I told my parents I would not be home until the plumbing was fixed. I thought I was too good to use a five-gallon bucket. Laugh. I have since, but I was a cocky teenager. I think now about how my Granny must have used an outhouse and chamberpot growing up. (Not to mention the Sears catalog--and not for reading material either.) We would go to bed at night in that big king-size bed. And before either of us went to sleep she would pray aloud. Not long flowery Thee's and Thous, but something along the lines of , "Lord, I thank you for another day. And Lord, I thank you for my family. Watch over them. And Lord, if there's anything in my heart that's not right, or if I've displeased you in any way today, forgive me Lord." I remember lying in bed and listening to her sweet voice. Friday night was the same. I was on the couch; she was in her recliner. Her wavering voice much softer. But still the same. "Lord I wanna be found faithful. Lord I just want You to have your will. Help the kids."
I cannot here tell you all that she means to me. The world is losing a treasure. And no, I'm not putting her above Christ. It is through Him that she is all that she is. I know that there was a time when my mom and her brothers were young that my Granny wasn't saved. That she might have regrets about some years. But she has nothing to fear and everything to gain. All that was washed clean in the blood many years back. I hope when my time comes that people can look back at my life and see Christ. It's something to think about. If you have loved ones that you are at odds with, people make things right. Make them right. Life is too short.


MugwumpMom said...

This was a beautiful and touching post. Your grandma sounds like a wonderful and wonder filled lady. Heaven awaits her for sure. May you truly find yourself comforted under His wings during this hard, hard time.

Delia said...

It's understandable that your Granny is what's on your heart and mind now and completely understandable that you're blogging about it.

She truly sounds like an amazing woman and it's obvious that she is loved immensely.

You do a wonderful job Cindy, of expressing your love for her with your words even though it must be hard for you.

My prayers continue to be with your Granny, you, and the rest of your family.

Karla said...

Just checking in to say you guys are in my prayers and thoughts. And you're right. No need to apologize for blogging about what's on your heart and mind.

Morning Glory said...

The "little spiritual giant" is a lovely phrase. What a precious woman she must be and how incredible to have her journals. I hope you find God's peace and strength during this really difficult time.