Walk in Love

Heard an awesome sermon this morning from Bro. Steve Gallimore. His scripture was Ephesians 5:2.

1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.

Bro. Steve's message was on marriage, and he stepped on my toes the entire service. He began his sermon with statistics from the book, HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS, by Willard Harley, Jr. It was interesting to note that according to Harley, a man's first need is sex. A woman's first need is affection, and how this different hierarchy in needs causes miscommunication and problems in marriages. He also used the story of the Israelites making the golden calf in the wilderness after Moses went up on the Mount to receive the ten commandments.

Exodus 32:23 For they said unto me, Make us gods, which shall go before us: for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.
32:24 And I said unto them, Whosoever hath any gold, let them break it off. So they gave it me: then I cast it into the fire, and there came out this calf.
32:25 And when Moses saw that the people were naked; (for Aaron had made them naked unto their shame among their enemies:)

Isn't it interesting to note that Aaron, when confronted said, " I just threw the gold in the fire, and out came this calf," trying to deny responsibility for his actions. How ridiculous he sounds.

In case you're wondering how this story relates to marriage, let me enlighten you on how it was tied in. The thrust of the message was that the Israelites did not believe that Moses was coming back down from the mountain. The longer he delayed, the more heathenistic they became. They began to make their own gods and their own laws, and they began to "play." Bro. Steve asked us to pretend for a moment that a) Jesus was not coming back, b) That God's word was not true, and c) That God did not exist. This is the way the people of Israel were acting . This is the way the world today is acting -- as if Jesus is not coming back, that the Bible is not true, and that God does not exist. And in our marriages today, a lot of us are living as if we do not truly believe those three things. We get our eyes off God, and we start justifying our way of life.

He began speaking of divorce and why Jesus addressed it in the New Testament. He said, "You may not be married; you may be thinking of being married. You may be engaged; you may be married for years. Some of you have been married many years. Some of you have been married one time, and then things didn't work out, and you got married again. And again. And then again, (counting on his fingers), and then yet again, and let me tell you. You people need help. You need help with how to do this thing called marriage." I had to admire his honesty. He laid it out on the dotted line, even at the risk of alienating his audience.

He talked of opening the lines of communication with our spouses and putting each other first and making our marriages a priority. He talked of getting our relationships with Christ in line and our marriages falling in place. And he ended with the admission that he'd been guilty of not intervening in marriages that had been falling apart, of sitting idly by while they crumbled for fear of offending families. He was humbly repentant, and I admired him when he said he and his associate pastor had made a promise to start visiting these troubled couples in the church, to try to help them save their marriages -- yes, even at the risk of being told to stay out of their business. Yes, even at the risk of losing their friendship. It's called tough love. Sometimes things need to be said. I know I needed to hear what was on his heart today.

God hates divorce. That is plain in the scriptures. He allowed it because of the "hardness of your hearts." He permitted divorce in cases of adultery and abandonment. But Bro. Steve was quick to point out that the majority of divorces are not because of infidelity -- but rather, surprise, surprise, unforgiveness. We can't forgive our spouses. Jesus can forgive our sins, but we can't forgive our spouses' sins. I'm not saying that a person would not have grounds if their spouse was unfaithful. I'm saying we don't always address the deeper issue...us being able to forgive the trespass. Even if the marriage ends in divorce, many people won't let it end there and forgive. They hold onto it forever. We, in America, are quick to look at our marriages as disposable. If it doesn't work out, just throw it away and start over. And that's not what God intended.

I'm far from an expert on this thing called marriage. My husband and I just passed the 10-year mark. We've had a lot of troubled water in our years together, a lot of tragedy and a lot of financial hardship and a lot of just plain old arguments resulting from selfishness and stubborness. I will even admit to you that I have wanted to throw my hands in the air and surrender. Or walk away from it all, even run. I can admit that to you, because it's no secret. I've said those words to my husband. Yet there's something underlying that keeps us together, keeps us trying, keeps us working on this thing called marriage. I believe it is God's spirit working in us to make us what He wants us to become. I believe it is God's stubborn refusal to allow us to destroy this union that has kept us this far. Every time I get consumed with the crazy idea that maybe I'd be better off out of the marriage, God brings something to my heart like this message that tells me, "I put you here. Now you learn what I want you to learn. Do what you know you're supposed to do. Walk in love, Cindy. Walk in love."

Like I've mentioned before, I need to stop trying to be the Holy Spirit and my husband's conscience. I need to work on Cindy, and get out of the way and let God work on Bub. And that's about as transparent as I get folks.

Til next time...Walk in love. http://www.pastors.com/article.asp?ArtID=8607

Grit for the Grundge

I've got company coming tonight, and I have spent the last three days cleaning. We cleaned the garage and pressure washed the house (just because it needed it, not necessarily for the company.) I've also cleaned the inside of the house top to bottom in between typing. At every turn, I've just been disgusted with the dust, dirt, and filth. My hubby's comment: "It ain't like the President's coming, honey." Sigh.

Okay, so the President's not coming. But that doesn't make my family and friends any less important. And besides, things have been let go for the summer. Most people do spring cleaning. I do it whenever I think someone will want the tour. That's the thing about Southern hospitality. Whether you have a small bungalow or a mansion, the tour is the polite thing you do when entertaining first time guests. After you greet your guests, you say to the menfolk, "Y'all make yourselves at home. Then you take the ladies and say, "Come on in. Let me show you around." Some would say it reeks of showing off. I think it's the equivalent of "my house is your house." And if you really mean that, then you must make your guests comfortable with where things are -- in case they need something. Now I'm not saying you take the insurance man or politician or Jehovah's Witness on the tour. I'm talking about friends and acquaintances that you entertain or want to cultivate a better relationship with.

And although I have given an off-the-cuff tour to an unexpected guest, it's not my favorite thing to do. At the same time, why not let them see how you really live? Warts and all. If they're really friend material, they won't care. And if they're not, then just limit your visit to the front room.

You know that show with the two British ladies who come to see your filth and help you get control of it? I was wondering what nasty things they would have to say if they came to my house. No, there's not spoiled food sitting around or animal feces. No, there's not clothes piled a mile high in the floor. (Well, there was in the laundry room earlier.) But there was a layer of white dust an inch thick on everything. There was red toothpaste leavings in all the sinks and goo in the little basket in the sink drain. ( I don't remember who posted about that, but I can identify totally. I hate cleaning it out too.) There were Apple Jacks under the couch and silly putty ground into the rug in my son's room. The laundry room smelled of wet dog, because that is where Mags spends her time when it storms. And who can remember the last time the refrigerator was cleaned out? Granted, I've had a hard summer. But that's really no excuse for CHAOS. You know, Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. I learned that from Fly Lady. If you need help getting motivated, visit her site, and you'll get motivated.

Well, I got to finish up. They'll be here before long. And my bed is still unmade, Lisa. LOL. I bet yours is too.

Early Morning Prayer

Dear Lord,
When I have days like today, when I am frustrated with my child, with my own parenting skills -- when I lose my patience and my voice begins to rise to ungodly heights -- Lord, help me. I know this beautiful child you've give me is only testing his limits, trying to see how much he can get away with and me still love him. Lord, he doesn't know that I will love him no matter what. He doesn't appreciate that my discipline is to keep him from harm's way -- to save him some heartache in the future. He hasn't matured enough to realize that mommy wants only the best for him, that mommy cannot bear the thought of him going astray. He wants what he wants because he is a child. He wants what he wants because he is human. He wants what he cannot have, because it seems so wonderfully forbidden.

I know that God. I know that because I am him. I struggle with the same thing. I, too, have seemingly uncontrollable desires. I, too, struggle in my growth to see that the denial of things is for my own good. I still sometimes reach out and touch the fire, knowing full well it is hot. That it will hurt. That it will scar. I still run to You in shame and pain needing Your healing touch. And You, how You must grieve to think that You warned me, and I didn't listen. I cry, because I want to please you. I repent and apologize. And through all of it, I grow.

I don't want a rebellious spirit. I don't want a unteachable spirit. I want more of You. I want to be like You. Work in me, Oh God. Change me. Grant me wisdom for parenting and life.
Make me the mother, wife, and Christian I should be.

I love you God.

Whew!

We arrived home last night after midnight. We were supposed to spend our last night in St. Louis, but they had a terrible storm Thursday night that took out power over the city. We heard they were under Martial Law and had called in the National Guard to rescue the trapped and guard the city, so we sold our room to a native couple needing it and came on home. We were tired when we arrived but grateful that our home had electricity and air conditioning. The heat has been overwhelming.

We really had a great time while we were away, and I think my son will have fond memories of the fun things we did. We only had one little blip, and that was because I was nervous about crossing the river bridge at Cairo, Illinois. It's an old, long, two-lane bridge with very little room for maneuvering. Take a look at these pictures. Scroll down to the view from the South end, and you will see a huge hairpin curve at the end. This bridge drives me insane, and more so at 11:00 at night. Add to that the fact that the hubby refused to get gas while in Missouri. We were driving on fumes. "Just wait. There's an all-night gas station right across the bridge in Illinois," he said. So I bit my lip and prayed we wouldn't run out of gas while crossing the terrifying bridge. Of course, after the few tense minutes across the bridge I stopped biting my lip and began railing about the gas station. "Where's that gas station? See, there's nothing but levee here." But to answer your question, yes there was a gas station a couple miles farther down, and yes, we did make it to it. And yes, I settled down after we got home. Still, I hate that bridge. Beautiful to look at, but no fun to drive across -- and a far cry from the beautiful new bridges at Cape Girardeau and St. Louis. I felt totally safe on those.

But to change the subject, today they sent me a couple of files to get done, so I've been typing and working on laundry. We spent a couple of hours playing "Spiderman Monopoly" with our son, and just enjoying our final days of vacation. I am also working on my book proposal for FPH. Time to get serious about it. Hopefully I will have more time to concentrate on it when Chase gets back in school. I also want to get back to my WIP.

Leave me some comments and tell me what you all have been into while I was away. I'll try to catch up on your blogs tonight.

Fun City Here We Come

Yesterday we landed at Hannibal, Missouri--you know, of Mark Twain fame. We stayed at Hotel Clemens (indoor pool) and had a river view. In fact, we had a view of the mighty Mississipp for most of the ride over from St. Peter. We passed through Clarksville on the way and ate at a quaint diner with a riverview. Chase loved to watch the barges go through the locks at the dam. I love the field of sunflowers we passed, complete with artist sitting roadside with an easel to capture the beauty. If you ever go to Louisiana, Missouri drive to the top of the old cemetery. The path winds and winds to greater elevations. In a way, it was a bit scary how high we were climbing. But once we reached the pinnacle of the cemetery, I believe we encountered the best view in the city. You could look out, and as far as you could see the Mississippi River stretched beyond. Chase was obsessed with the size of the cemetery. He could not believe that they didn't build something on this great piece of property. He was stunned when I told him that at the time the cemetery was started there probably wasn't even electricity. Some of the graves dated back to 1822 that we saw. We have no idea how old the oldest were.

We went to Sawyer's Creek and let him ride the bumper boats, feed the catfish, play in the arcade, and do water wars with his dad (high tech water balloons.) Then we headed over to Mark Twain's cave for a 3/4 mile walking tour through a 52 degree underground wonder. It was incredible to tour the labyrinths and see the markings on the inside. Jessie James is said to have hid out in this particular cave. It was a welcome respite from the 98 degree weather outside. Chase and I kept looking up expecting to see bats overhead. There was even a "Marriage Corner," and the guide said at least seven marriages have taken place inside. He joked and said it was the best place to start a marriage, because it would already be on the rocks, and there would be no place for it to go but up. LOL.

This morning we toured the Haunted House on Hill Street, complete with wax figures of Mark Twain's family and characters. We drove up to Lover's Leap for a fantastic view of Hannibal. Breathtaking. Absolutely breathtaking. We took a few pictures. Maybe I will finally get some scanned and posted when we get home.

This afternoon we left for Nauvoo. But hubby had a great surprise. He booked us rooms in Burlington, Iowa, which is about a half an hour from Nauvoo. This is where he booked us, and you would not believe the fun place it is. In fact, it has an entertainment complex called "Fun City" inside. As soon as we got here we ate supper and played Lazer Tag, which I had never done. Then we visited the arcade where we got on a simulated roller coaster ride. You wear 3D glasses and sit in these chairs that move and put all the g-forces on you while you watch a screen. I screamed the whole time. Chase and CWG, Jr. LOVED it. Chase got to drive the go-carts, and right now as I write the two of them are bowling. We didn't get finished in time to do the indoor/outdoor water park that is attached to the hotel. That's on the list for first thing in the morning. We have a room that has a balcony overlooking the indoor part. There's all sorts of slides for the little ones and big ones. There's a huge bucket that fills and tips periodically, dumping the water on those below. There's a "Lazy River" you can float down in an innertube. I actually wanted to do this tonight as hot as I was, but there's plenty of time tomorrow. We got a package deal for two nights, and we may end up staying a third to see the Burlington Bees play. Can you believe how blessed we were to find such an awesome place to stay? And within our budget!

Tomorrow night we will see the pageant in Nauvoo about Joseph Smith, the founder of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. (My husband's family claims to have roots in this "denomination." I'm not sure if this is a denomination or if another word would best describe it.) We don't adhere to their beliefs, but I don't mind going and learning about them and the historic town. There will be several old-timey demonstrations there as well as musicals and entertainment -- all of which is free. Plus, you get the awesome backdrop of that fabulous river again. I don't know that I would ever grow tired of it. If the great Mississippi doesn't inspire you, I don't know what would.

I finally got back to the room to check the email, and I think they will have some transcription work for me tonight -- maybe a couple of hours. That's what is so cool about my job. It's portable. And I can do it on my schedule. And it's entirely electronic. Only problem is if you forget your power cord. But never fear. Staples says we can bring the one we had to purchase back if we don't damage the packaging. (Wasn't that a nice gesture, especially since power cords are $80.) Anyway, we're having a great time. I'm so glad we got away for a few days before school starts back. We are so blessed to be working again and able to do this for our son and our sanity -- especially after the June we have had. Check out the links. If you want a more laid back vacation, dare I say even "educational" vacation, this is a great way to get it in. Who would have thought that past all those bean and corn fields there would be a "Fun City!"

This is Different

Posting from a blackberry. Now this is weird. Just lost a long post. Tell u bout it later. St. Peter, Mo.

Update

I have been visiting new blogs this morning and found so many beautiful posts. In the next few days I will be updating my links ( a chore I despise) to include some of them. I've also joined a few new blogrings. I'm still in the rewrite stage of From Pharaoh's Hand, and sadly I have not gotten much more done on From the Dust of Rose Hill. However, the plot is still working itself out in my mind, and I'm mulling over some character names. I'm also in the process of reading On Writing Well, by William Zinsser. The latest issue of The Writer magazine has arrived, as well as two issues of Oprah's magazine, so I will have plenty of reading material for vacation. Vacation. I've yet to pack the first thing. I'm beginning to wonder if we're really going. Someone asked us last night where we were going, and my hubby replied, "North." LOL. That's all that's definite, and that's just because we assume it will be cooler the farther north we go. Although, I wouldn't be so sure. Seems pretty hot everywhere from what I've heard.

Where is That Again?

Well, we are still undecided about where to go next week. So far we have tossed around Alabama, Cincinnati, and Indiana. Hubby's last mention to me this evening was Hannibal, Missouri and Nauvoo, Illinois. Why? I asked. Well, he muttered something about Mark Twain, which I understood. But Nauvoo? What's in Nauvoo, I wondered. He muttered from the restroom something about a pageant and Joseph Smith. I hollered back, "Wasn't that the Mormon dude?" "Yeah." "Okay," I replied, not impressed. Well, maybe a bit with the Hannibal, Missouri part.

As you can tell, we are the procrastinators. We've been knowing he would be off work next week ever since he started this new job. But we never are on the same page. Muscle Shoals would have been nice, but there was no availability where we wanted to stay. Cincinnati hosts Paramount King's Island -- but I'm no big fan of amusement parks. Ditto for Holiday, Indiana.
But this historical little jaunt down the Mississippi might just be the thing. That is, unless by in the morning we (translate he) have a totally new destination in mind. I think the Wisconsin Dells has even been mentioned, along with Colorado. (Nixed due to financial and time constraints.)

My husband is such the wanderer. I'm such the homebody. He'd be content living as a gypsy, exploring new places every day. I like to think I'd be content to never leave Tennessee -- or, LOL, my big bed provided I had a good book and a box of chocolates. And of course, my laptop.
My idea of the perfect vacation is sleeping late every day, swimming a little, eating at a good restaurant, reading all the books I don't have time for, and then going back to bed and watching a good old romantic movie. His idea, on the other hand, of the perfect vacation is to wake early every day, hit the malls, the strip stores, the big box stores, and anything remotely resembling a junk store. (Not antiques or boutiques, though.) Run, run, run. Look, look, look. Go to maybe a baseball game or some other event, shop shop shop. Run, run, run. Ride, ride, ride. It's exhausting. He thinks we're wasting vacation days if we sleep late or stay in the hotel room. Sigh. He's learned to compromise by letting me sleep an extra hour or two and bring me breakfast. I am much more manageable with my coffee out of the way. Still, we rarely agree on the agenda, the place, or even how long we're going to be gone. And then he wonders why I just don't get excited???

If you don't hear from me, you'll know we made it out of town. But my guess is whereever we go, I'll be taking along my trusty computer. I don't think I can make it a week without blogging.

Just Do It

My son has gone nearly seven years without knowing the thrill of computing gaming. That spell was broken by the introduction of Bejeweled. In some ways it has been a great diversion for him, he being sick and unable to go outside. In other ways, I fear it contributes to the reproduction of the American Couch Potato. This past birthday his dad got him a Gameboy. A cousin gave him a Star Wars game for Christmas. This summer his dad found a Playstation at a garage sale. A recent stay with his uncle garnered the boy an Atari. And now he's taken over the laptop. Where will it end?

Most recently CWGIII has gotten an 8x16 log cabin playhouse with a red tin roof. This was part of his inheritance from my mom. I fancied him spending hours inside it -- pretending to be Davey Crockett or Daniel Boone. His aunt is coming Friday to do some upgrading on it. She has some leftover paneling from a remodeling project. Daddy also says we're wiring it for electricity. So much for roughing it. I now imagine him sitting inside -- or laid out on a bunk -- coolly sipping his KoolAid and playing video games. Not the scenario I would prefer. What happened to imagination and necessity being the mother of invention? What happened to improvisation and creativity, playing in the dirt and fort building? Maybe we should ban the electronics to winter time usage and long road trips. I can hear the moaning and whining now.

Yes, I want my son to be computer literate and electronically hip. Yes, I want him to be able to keep up with the trends of the tech world. But I also want him to have fond memories of old-fashioned summers. But I fear they've gone the way of the typewriter. Now it's dangerous to even be out in the sun without sunblock. Now you can hardly let your children play outside for more than 10 minutes alone without checking to make sure they haven't been abducted. Now you have to wonder about all the mutated germs that could take over his body via a cut or scrape. Maybe I'm too overprotective about some of those things. Maybe I should be turning off the radio, the television, the video games, and heading out with him to a museum, an old cemetery, a fishing pond, or maybe just out to the playhouse for a picnic. I just hope it's not too hot. Have I made my point?

BEWARE: Construction Zone

My son is sick today. His right ear is bothering him, and I'm debating on what to do. At his last checkup a few weeks ago at Vanderbilt, the doctor said everything looked great. The tubes are beginning to work their way out. I'm wondering if this is the cause of his pain. It's Sunday. I'm medicating him with Ibuprofen and ear drops. I'm thinking if he still has problems in the morning we should see a doctor. But do I take him back to Vanderbilt or to his regular doctor? He went swimming several days last week while we were in the hotel. But that doesn't usually bother him. Any of you moms have experience with tubes? He's going on 7, so I figure it's time they come out, even though he's only had them in a year or so. What to do...**wrings my hands in frustration.

It seems I've lost some regular readers lately. I'm wondering if it's because it's summer or because of my morbid posts. I know for months now I've had many woes to write about -- from financial problems to family emergencies to death in the family. Those aren't easy things to read about. And some of you who stop by here probably think I'm so heavenly minded to be any earthly good. I don't know. Those of you who know me in person have lamented that my blog seems a bit lop-sided. I've even been asked, "Which is the real you?"

Now that bothers me. Because whenever I'm here, I feel that I am totally me. Yes, I'm writing for an audience. Yes, I tend to leave less desirable feelings and attributes to your imagination. Yes, I spiritualize everything. And yes, I do struggle with my more banal human emotions, my fears, my insecurities, and my weaknesses. Yes, my husband and I "fight" sometimes loudly. Yes, I lose my battle with holding my tongue. Yes, I slip and fall. Yes, I sometimes get mad at God. And more often than not, I have days where I just want to hide under the covers. But I'm gonna make it.

And yes, if sometimes when you read you leave confused, know that I, too, am confused. All I know is writing here helps. And having friends here helps. And the real me is in a much needed construction phase. Who knows what the end result will be.

If Cleanliness is next to Godliness, I'm only Halfway There

Today I decided the family was going to tackle the house that has been let go for a month. So, I let the boys sleep in and watch cartoons until noon, and then I cracked my whip and insisted on getting started. Four hours later we have five loads of laundry done and folded, but not yet put away; one closet cleaned out; one load of dishes done; the front living room totally finished; the guestroom finished except for vacuuming; the garbage gathered up; the dining room finished except for dusting the chairs; and still there is a huge pile of odds and ends on the kitchen table. There's still bathrooms to be done and the other floors to be done. I don't believe my house has been this unlivable since I moved in. I have literally let everything go. But it's getting there. The boys are gone to get lunchmeat for an early supper. And then it's back to business. CWGIII's room hasn't been touched yet either. CWG, Jr. took a half hour going through a tall stack of mail and paying bills. I know I could have so much more done in four hours. I just can't get them to stay on task. I will look up and CWGIII will be dragging out more toys. CWG, Jr will be on the toilet. They whine that they are tired. LOL. I look around and see all that's left to do and say, how can you be tired? Men. humph. My little one has even used the phrase, "that's your job, mommy." Yes, I've spoiled them both. But it's back to cleaning for me. Talk to you later. Hope your weekends are going well. Oh and KK, I found the new belt in the computer cabinet. Still haven't figured that one out yet. LOL. At least it still has the tags on it so I can take it back. Sigh.

Summer Bear Sighting

Starting next Monday, I will be trying to get life back into its normal routine, including the transcription and writing and looking for a publisher. I have missed my blogging buddies; there will be a lot of catching up to do with everyone. I trust your summer is going great. I want to hear about any vacations you've had. It sounded like Diane had a great time up at the cabin. We're trying to decide on a getaway week after next, just to relax a bit after the stress and grief we've been through. I don't really want to get far from home. Our budget right now doesn't allow for an extended vacation. I thought maybe a few days in the Ozarks or the Smokies.

While I was sitting with my granny one day recently I read about a black bear being captured in my town. Evidently it was tagged with an ID that indicated it had wandered over to this side of the Mississippi from the Ozark mountains. It was taken to the Memphis Zoo, and it may eventually be returned to the wild. The last black bears on our end of Tennessee to be seen were in the 1800's, so this was a rare sighting. And I had just told CWGIII recently that he couldn't go bear hunting around here, because there weren't any bears. LOL. Maybe he prayed to have bears to hunt. His dad got him a log cabin clubhouse last week, and the two of them are planning to furnish it. Looks like I'm going to have a real Davey Crockett on my hands. I'm guessing the three of us will be camping out in the backyard before long...wonder if the wireless signal will reach.

Whom the Son Has Set Free

Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, and condolences. The Lord is strengthening us for the days ahead. Overall, we are doing okay. As we shoot our fireworks tonight, we will be doing so in memory of her and in celebration of her Independence Day. She's free from the cares of this world. At one point during her ordeal right before she passed she had the sweetest grin across her face, and I believe the Lord was showing her everything He had lovingly prepared for her. We gathered around her bedside and gave thanks for our heritage and the precious gift of her life. She's climbed her last mountain and planted her flag in glory. I like to think that maybe she and all my loved ones are having a picnic on the shores of the crystal river today--just waiting and planning that great Marriage Supper of the Lamb. And let me tell ya friends, there WILL be fried pies there, if she has any say in it. I just wish you could have known her. Obituary.

Home At Last

Iris Marie Campbell McCoy
February 8, 1922 --July 1, 2006 7:00 p.m.