Sunday, July 09, 2006

BEWARE: Construction Zone

My son is sick today. His right ear is bothering him, and I'm debating on what to do. At his last checkup a few weeks ago at Vanderbilt, the doctor said everything looked great. The tubes are beginning to work their way out. I'm wondering if this is the cause of his pain. It's Sunday. I'm medicating him with Ibuprofen and ear drops. I'm thinking if he still has problems in the morning we should see a doctor. But do I take him back to Vanderbilt or to his regular doctor? He went swimming several days last week while we were in the hotel. But that doesn't usually bother him. Any of you moms have experience with tubes? He's going on 7, so I figure it's time they come out, even though he's only had them in a year or so. What to do...**wrings my hands in frustration.

It seems I've lost some regular readers lately. I'm wondering if it's because it's summer or because of my morbid posts. I know for months now I've had many woes to write about -- from financial problems to family emergencies to death in the family. Those aren't easy things to read about. And some of you who stop by here probably think I'm so heavenly minded to be any earthly good. I don't know. Those of you who know me in person have lamented that my blog seems a bit lop-sided. I've even been asked, "Which is the real you?"

Now that bothers me. Because whenever I'm here, I feel that I am totally me. Yes, I'm writing for an audience. Yes, I tend to leave less desirable feelings and attributes to your imagination. Yes, I spiritualize everything. And yes, I do struggle with my more banal human emotions, my fears, my insecurities, and my weaknesses. Yes, my husband and I "fight" sometimes loudly. Yes, I lose my battle with holding my tongue. Yes, I slip and fall. Yes, I sometimes get mad at God. And more often than not, I have days where I just want to hide under the covers. But I'm gonna make it.

And yes, if sometimes when you read you leave confused, know that I, too, am confused. All I know is writing here helps. And having friends here helps. And the real me is in a much needed construction phase. Who knows what the end result will be.


MugwumpMom said...

I suspect readership is down because of summer.
That's a great phrase..."much needed construction phase". Aren't we all in need of that? I for one am glad that you're being real..which is why I keep visiting...and I have it on good authority that God is glad too. And if that's spiritualizing, then call me ghost.
Have a good evening.

Praying for your Prodigal said...

Cindy--I think the sentence that answers each of the questions for me is, "Because whenever I'm here, I feel that I am totally me." Stay in tune with that....this is the reason you draw so many to you. We like real--we like authentic, we repect vulnerability. you!

It's been more than a few years since I've dealt with tubes in ears....what I remember most is--when the ear hurts...take the child to the doctor. I'm assuming your family physician can handle whatever is happening. Maybe it is swimmers ear gone amuck! Maybe it is an infection. I don't recall my son having pain when the tubes fell out though; yet, each child is different. It's those darn ear infections that can be tricky-so let us know how it turns out!

Thanks for being so real!


Anonymous said...

I guess i stay confused. Sorry if I hurt your feelings.

Karla said...

To me, that's what blogging is all about. Laying it all out there...bare, raw and totally real. I do enjoy the entertaining blogs, don't get me wrong; but strangely enough, I also enjoy the "real" blogs. The one with struggles and pain. It gives me the chance to (hopefully) share an encouraging word and lift someone up in prayer. It also (selfish as this sounds) lets me know that I'm not alone in my struggles.
You keep on writing what's on your heart. You write your book(s) for an audience. This is "your" space.
I appreciate your transparency and enjoy visiting your blog. =)
BTW, I vistited the website of the author you suggested to me. I wrote her an email telling her that you directed me her way. She knew you and said to tell you "Thanks for stopping by her blog". =)

Lisa said...

Hi Cindy!

I just got back from a much needed vacation in Ludington...spent time kayaking, fishing, and laying on the beach! I actually have a tan! Woo hoo!

I don't have many readers of my blog, but I love having an outlet to vent my hopes, dreams, frustrations, and the craziness of my life. I think people (I know I do) enjoy blogs from people, just like yourself, who are keeping it real. I haven't been able to list as many of my frustrations on my blog as I'd like. I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough to share everything with your readers.

I think that summer is a busy time for everyone--I know that I spend much more time outdoors and with other activities in the spring & summer. The wintertime is my time to become a couch potato and write, write, hang in there.

Take Care!

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