Early Morning Prayer

Dear Lord,
When I have days like today, when I am frustrated with my child, with my own parenting skills -- when I lose my patience and my voice begins to rise to ungodly heights -- Lord, help me. I know this beautiful child you've give me is only testing his limits, trying to see how much he can get away with and me still love him. Lord, he doesn't know that I will love him no matter what. He doesn't appreciate that my discipline is to keep him from harm's way -- to save him some heartache in the future. He hasn't matured enough to realize that mommy wants only the best for him, that mommy cannot bear the thought of him going astray. He wants what he wants because he is a child. He wants what he wants because he is human. He wants what he cannot have, because it seems so wonderfully forbidden.

I know that God. I know that because I am him. I struggle with the same thing. I, too, have seemingly uncontrollable desires. I, too, struggle in my growth to see that the denial of things is for my own good. I still sometimes reach out and touch the fire, knowing full well it is hot. That it will hurt. That it will scar. I still run to You in shame and pain needing Your healing touch. And You, how You must grieve to think that You warned me, and I didn't listen. I cry, because I want to please you. I repent and apologize. And through all of it, I grow.

I don't want a rebellious spirit. I don't want a unteachable spirit. I want more of You. I want to be like You. Work in me, Oh God. Change me. Grant me wisdom for parenting and life.
Make me the mother, wife, and Christian I should be.

I love you God.