Friday, February 03, 2006

He Leadeth Me Beside the Still Waters

I've had another busy day. I haven't even had time to work on the book this morning. Maybe I can get the rest of Chapter 7 in tonight. I had another conference call about starting the home based business this morning at 8:00. It's an interesting proposition, one I intend to make successful. Interesting how being broke can motivate you. I'll tell you about it as I get more information.

I think I heard that the groundhog saw his shadow. Doesn't that mean six more weeks of winter? I'm not sure, but I can't complain a bit about how the winter has passed thus far. It has allowed CWGIII and me time to play outside in the afternoons, a time I rather enjoy. That's why it feels so important to me to have something I can do from home and have flexible scheduling. I want to be here for him.

CWG,Jr. has had a couple of callbacks on one job in particular. This one seems to be a perfect fit. We will know more in a few days. He passed the online test with flying colors. He already has the Property and Casualty Insurance license it requires. And it is here in Paris. Please people, pray. We need answers. We need some resolution to this dilemma we have found ourselves in. But like I pointed out earlier, God has not brought us this far to leave us utterly without HOPE.
He is faithful to supply all our needs. We want to do His will.

You know sometimes I think that things are allowed to come our way to teach us some very specific lessons. I began thinking about this especially this week while writing Chapter 7 of the novel. Had I not experienced certain trials in my life in the year 1989, I would never be able to put into writing what I detail in this book. Could it be the sole purpose of my one year in that location was to soak up all the details about that region and then fashion all the ugly facts into something beautiful that He wanted me to create? I think it very well could be. He has this thing about putting the broken pieces of our lives back together--and making them into works of art. I would not be surprised if this were the case with me. For, I've often wondered what the whole purpose was in the events that transpired in my life during that year. Now, seventeen years later, is it possible, that God was giving me material for my book? Is it possible that my entire life has been material for books, articles, poems, essays, and inspirational writings that would bless others?
I think it is entirely possible. In fact, I am growing to believe that with all my heart.

Now, you may ask, just why didn't you come to that conclusion sooner? You could be finished with so many works and be publsihed. You could be so much farther down the road. The answer, friends and family is this, I have always known I had a specific gift, or two or three. But I have not been motivated to take that leap of faith that this particular endeavor required. I was not where I needed to be in my spiritual walk to step out. And then again, I may have been exactly where I needed to be. It's all a matter of perspective.

You see, I have also been wondering why it is that I have not found a place to minister with my music. The church we found in Paris, and seem very pleased with attending, has several musicians. If they needed my services, I would gladly render them. Because I do love my music. I was always tuck-headed about it, not letting on that I enjoyed it as much as I did. I wanted to be modest about it. But I really miss playing the piano. It was my way of offering a sacrifice of praise to God in worship. I've been feeling a bit lost without it. BUT, friends, I have used that gift for many, many years. I allowed God to use me through that gift. I believe it met the need many times. BUT WHAT IF...this is the season to start using some of the other gifts. WHAT IF...he has put that one on the back burner to make me realize that I could worship Him by using these other gifts as well. WHAT IF... this is the season for my writing gift?

He's also dealing with me about a grief ministry. I'm not sure what or how or when, but there are people who are going through serious heartache out there, who need to hear my story about that as well. There are people who are scared, frustrated, confused, and grieving. They need to know and understand that God has a plan. I am learning that the Master Plan is sometimes not seen in a day. It sometimes cannot be seen in a week or a month. Sometimes it unfolds after the many years have passed, and you look back in retrospect and realize that His hand was leading you all the way. It is a precious, precious walk we walk if we are children of God. Sometimes it is beside still waters, and sometimes it is through the dark valley of death. But if we hold to His hand, surely goodness and mercy shall follow us all the days of our lives, and ultimately, we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Amen, and so be it. Take care.


Lisa said...

Wonderful attitude-God is smiling down from heaven.

I know we all must experience hardships at times so that we lean on the Lord even more. There are so many things to learn! I have learned to listen to God's will but like a child, I often ignore it. God eventually wins ;)

My family and I have been thru some lean times of late, and we've struggled, but I feel God's love surrounding me (us) even in times of doubt and transition.

May God continue to grant you peace and understanding in your life.

Good luck with your novel! Keep on writing!

Diane said...

Hey there!

I, too, am part of a grief ministry. Have you ever heard of H. Norman Wright? He is a great resource for a developing grief ministry. I have used his video series, "Crisis Care: Hope for the Hurting" several times at our church...and each participant has been blessed by it. It is an invaluable teaching tool...also, a great way to jumpstart a conversation, a deep conversation, about loss, pain and grief.

I am just thrilled to read of your reminder to each of us that, yes, God is holding us through this journey called life! And I have, what a dear friend of mine refers to a "God-bumps" (instead of goose bumps)......while reading your testimony of how God is planning to use your hard times for His glory. YOU inspire me!

Thanks for your blog...and your heart!