To Write or Not to Write, That is the Question.

Today I contemplated restarting my novel, the one I lost 50 pages of to my last computer crash. I got exactly one page written while waiting on the school buses to depart this afternoon. And that one page is completely different from the original. Maybe there are two different novels going on. I don't know. Or maybe the first just wasn't meant to be written. As I finished my first page I discovered three things:

1. Characters are hard to name. You would think this would be the easy part.
2. Dialogue is even harder to create.
3. Writing something that has never been written is virtually impossible.

With that thought in mind, I must attempt to take something that has already been thought of and make it wholly mine. I believe they call it, "finding your voice."
The magazines I subscribe to say you must outline your novel. This strikes me as odd. If I had a full outline, I would have written the book already. Don't they understand that? I like to see where the characters will take me. If it has to be planned and forcefed, where's the fun in writing it?

Then, I have to wonder, am I still chasing a dream? I must be crazy to carry around all these notebooks and pens and ideas in my head. I must be crazier to think that by getting those ideas out and onto paper is somehow going to magically tranform my life. After all, what writer doesn't dream of seeing his words in print? And how many of them actually do? But hey...Rome wasn't built in a day. And I grit my teeth at the cliche' I just used. I keep forgetting all those writer rules. Can't a girl just do it the way she hears it in her head, for Pete's sake? Besides...I'm the one that has to live with the finished product ultimately. If it ever gets finished...

I'll keep you posted.