Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Anyone Out There?

Anger. Relief. Sadness. Anger. Contentment. Sadness. Then a good day comes along. Peace. Peace. Peace. Wonderful peace. Some days I wonder if I will ever be truly happy again. Sometimes I wonder if I ever was. More than a month has gone by. I'm still living by my same M.O.--survive until tomorrow. Many things are in limbo still. Still have questions about where my son will attend school. How long will I be in this rental home? Can I afford anything else? Will my old car hold up? What are my options? And then there are just the everyday issues like--do I get dressed today? Am I going anywhere? What do I fix for dinner? How long til bedtime.

I am finding out more and more the things that I do not want out of life. Eventually when that list gets full, then perhaps by process of elimination I will know what it is that I DO want. I do know that not going to bed angry or upset is conducive to much better sleep. And that leads to clearer thinking. Or it's supposed to, lol, but you might not can tell that from this post. Oh, well, at least I showed up. I miss you guys. If you're still out here.....let me know.

3 comments:

Diane said...

Hey Girlfriend!

I think....your post is brilliant! Clear thinking at it's best! It's true--we have to find our way through the mud sometimes....to feel refreshed!

I'm sorry for your pain....Cindy---but am so proud of your strength. I wish I lived closer....I'd drive over today---and we'd just talk!

Blessings my friend!

Diane

Bethany Pledge said...

Yep, I am here. Keep truckin'!

Delia said...

I'm still here... slow to get here... but here, nonetheless.